The Ferret

5 July 2008

Today is the last day of taking those blasted pills. For the first time since Monday, I can sleep and not have crazy dreams. Or have a funny feeling in my tummy all night. Or sweat all night. Or not sleep at all!

I feel my old self starting to come back again. I went to the tailor earlier to get my clothes. They came out all right. I was afraid she would get the neckline wrong, because for some reason everyone is wearing clothes with wide necks. Whenever a woman bends over all her boobies are hanging out like apples for the plucking. It was modestly done. Except that of the gown, it was a bit wide but nothing outrageous that I wouldn’t wear.

When my dad and I stopped to get some fuel on the way, the ladies at Total filling station were acting the fool. As we were driving off to go elsewhere I wound down and gave them a piece of my mind on the way out. My dad felt I shouldn’t because I was bringing myself down to their level. But I feel I’m in my country, and if someone is behaving in a stupid way I should be able to tell them off. Yes, it’s true it was unnecessary, but at least next time they’ll think twice before telling someone they won’t sell fuel to them just for backing up their car towards the pump because the tank was on the opposite side. Sometimes there is only one language Nigerians understand, and it necessitates a little rudeness.

Besides, my dad is a nice guy. A really nice guy. The way I see it, he has his own principles and so have I. For so long I’ve excused people’s stupidity and they’ve gotten away with the impression that they can say anything to me and walk all over me. I’ve decided not to be so quiet anymore. If something pisses me off, I am going to let it out there and then; get it out of my system once and for all.

My dad has his own way of doing things. No longer do I feel obligated to please him. I feel responsible and accountable for my life, and since it’s me doing the ‘living’ I don’t see fit to live by other people’s rules.

For instance we were watching the news on Al Jazeera about how the US is spying on mosques and accusing Muslims of terrorism, and freezing their assets and what not. I said in UK the government spies on mosques too. They keep tabs on Muslims; especially those they suspect have links to terrorism – as defined by them.

Anyway, my dad said that was why he didn’t visit any mosque while they lived in Japan. He told me that M and I should be careful not to visit such places. That all it takes is to be seen speaking to the wrong person before you have them marking you down and spying on you.

Well, we both know this already. We know Muslims are being persecuted for being Muslims. However, M visits the mosques regularly for the sole purpose of praying. He doesn’t go there to make friends or chat up strangers. He goes there to worship, especially the Friday prayers which are compulsory for men. Afterwards he finds his merry way back home to his family.

If all Muslims stop practicing their religion because they are afraid of persecution then they really don’t know who their Lord is. M and I fear the wrath of our Lord more than we fear being terrorized. We intend nobody harm. We do not support the killings of innocent people and never plan to, contrary to what is commonly believed of practicing Muslims. So we have no reason to fear anybody.

Our Prophet (pbuh) once prophesized that the nations of the world would gather to destroy Muslims the same way people gather around a table to partake of it’s meal. We are living at such time, when you only need to be a Muslim to be called a terrorist, murderer, suicide bomber, cold blooded killer, when all your moves are watched, when you’re suspected at every corner, when you’re not free to practice your religion the way you want to, when you always have to hide, and downplay your zeal because you never know who is watching, who might brand you a fanatic and accuse you of plotting something dastardly.

Anyway, when it comes to religion, I’ve already made my stance clear with my parents. I’ll do what’s within the limits of my conscience. I’m not out to please any human being regardless of who they are. The way I see it, when I die, nobody else accompanies me into my grave. I’ll be all alone, and I need to be able to answer for my actions.