The Ferret

Busy, as a verb, to describe my recent level of activity, would be a gross understatement.
I neglected my blog throughout when M was around because he invades all my spaces in such a way that there’s nothing left to blog about at the end of the day. Plus I can’t be comfortable blogging with him in the same room; with that lingering feeling that he could peer over my shoulder at any moment and see that I’m writing something about him. Surprisingly after he travelled, when I’m normally besieged with ideas to write about, nothing came. He’ll be back tomorrow, so let me get some thoughts out of the way… they’ve been bothering the hell out of me lately.#

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I’m through with my sewing course, currently about to start work on my project. I accepted some thirteen fabrics from my Sister in-law. I under estimated how expediently she wanted it. So now I have to get that over and out of the way with before I can focus fully on my project. I was bursting with joy the day she called and said she would like to recall some of them because she really didn’t have much clothes to wear and surmised the quantity might have overwhelmed me. Unfortunately I had cut most of them, except for three which I happily sent back to her.

I considered it a challenge to make something fitting for her because she’s big and very busty. I notice few designers factor in the ‘fatness’ factor when making clothes for big ladies. It’s not every time that you make for them what they want because thought I might look good elsewhere, because of their unique features it won’t end up the same way.

I made an outfit which she wore to her sister’s engagement last year. A lot of people said it was nice. But I don’t take compliments/flattery from family members and friends too seriously especially when they know you’re just starting out. They tend to say nice things just to encourage you. I was however flattered when my SIL wanted me to design/sew two chiffon dresses for her because according to her she wanted them to be ‘really nice’.

Should be over and done with all her stuff by Sunday, hopefully, so I can concentrate on my project. I’ve decided not to receive any more commissions pending when I can build my portfolio. Sure putting your designs on people is the best way to showcase your work, but I need to ‘feel around’ without the added stress of someone breathing down my neck.

Also I want people to see the scale of the kind of work I do so when I name my fee they won’t think I’m being too flagrant. Like my SIL almost summersaulted when I gave her the total of all her clothes. What people don’t understand is regardless of how much a fabric costs, whether it’s a cheap London wax of N1,000 or an expensive George of N60,000, it is still the same amount of time, effort and dedication that I use to sew it; it is still the same volume of sweat that gets sweated unto it (not that I deliberately sweat unto people’s clothes, but you get what I mean).

Bottom line, I want to specialize in occasion wears for women and girls; the party dresses, so to speak because I’m a stickler for perfection. All my concentration and determination will not be appreciated on an everyday dress. (And if my client insists it must be me, of course, they can’t complain about the cost). So far I haven’t ‘spoilt’ any of her clothes like fresh-out-of-the-oven tailors are notorious for. So I’m not doing bad at all, all things considered.

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I still can’t find my memory card… which means I can’t take the pictures of what I’ve done thus far. What I’m hoping to do is get a model to model the clothes for my portfolio. It sucks sewing and designing and then presenting your work.

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So, I’ve had to change doctors since the Jan first fiasco. This new doctor is alright, no particular specialties, but in terms of proximity he’s the best option. I want to reserve having to visit a specialist miles away for when all closer alternatives have been exploited. Though I pray everyday that it won’t have to come to that.

The doctor hasn’t been able to pin point exactly what is wrong with me. On my last visit he was going along the same line as the randy doctor, he said my infrequent sexual activity might be impeding the reproductive progress. The consensus seems to be that I’m suffering from hormonal irregularities; fine. But what’s causing it?

I’ve been doing my own research online, and the closest diagnosis I can make is PCOS or poly cystic ovarian syndrome. It’s a situation whereby the ovaries are covered in little cysts that prevent ovulation. Five percent of women, or one in ten women in her reproductive years suffers from it. A lot of them go undiagnosed, because like me, the doctor can’t really pin point the cause of infertility. PCOS is triggered by hormonal imbalances and excessive insulin also plays a role. But the underlying cause is unknown. I have some of the symptoms, irregular periods, no or irregular ovulation, period longer than 33 days, acne, and diabetes (which I discovered by chance).

It’s an incurable problem, but it’s manageable. And though it’s difficult for women with it to get pregnant, and they are more likely to have a miscarriage, with the right drugs and monitoring they can still have children.

What I need to do now is convince my doctor that this is what I have or better yet help him make a more accurate diagnosis. I don’t believe things just happen like that for no apparent reason. Let me then move beyond the diagnostic into the treatment phase.

Thinking back I’ve observed that the irregularities were more frequent when I was overweight. I did a hormone profile test in September and another in November after I’d been exercising and had lost a significant amount of weight. The results were drastically different. Yet the doctor didn’t ask if I’d been doing anything extraordinary, he just assumed the thing corrected itself.

According to my research, sometimes loosing just 5% of ones body weight is enough to enable ovulation. Currently, my reproductive hormones are within the preference ranges, just too low for ovulation to occur. I plan to loose more weight in the coming months and lower my blood sugar before I consider the option of drugs that induce ovulation.

Now that I think I know what I have, I can proceed on to the next course of action.
My only problem with this doctor is he doesn’t carry me along. I’m very academic and scientific like in my approach to illnesses. I like to be in the know and not knowing kills it for me. I like to know the name of the drugs I’m taking, why the particular dosage and so on.

I think he sensed it because one of the first things he did was to disabuse my mind to the norm. He told me most times things aren’t the way they appear to be. Yet common sense dictates that there has to be a norm otherwise how do you know when you’ve departed into the realm of abnormal. Some things are constant regardless.

Anywho I have an appointment on Monday. I’m supposed to come in mid-cycle for him to examine my privates. Actually mid-cycle is today but I have to psyche myself up to expose my ‘down there’ to a male doctor. Even if she’s a female, I’d still be squeamish. It’s unfair that many people have to look up a woman’s vagina in the course of her life time. Unfortunately I’m not that blasé as to take the its-just-a-body-part/another-piece-of-flesh approach. Once you have reproductive problems you can kiss your private parts being ‘private’ goodbye!

*sigh*