Sigh
Clearly I’ve ran out of titles for my entres.
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I called my eldest brother today. I’ve been meaning to call him – for the past 8 months – basically since I left Abuja. He and his wife recently moved into their own place. It would have been a perfect time to call him, but for some reason I couldn’t just bring myself to. I assumed if something great happened in his life, he would call his dear sister to let her know. But then again we’re not as close as I thought we were, ever since we both got married. He’s a great big bro and I love him and I know he loves me… but, I don’t know. I always hoped he’d call me someday out of the blue. So I resigned that if he didn’t make the move, I wouldn’t either.
Since I’d been dwelling on it for a while, after three days of nearly dialling his number I finally did it and not once did feel guilty when he started by scolding me for ‘forgetting him’. I told him it’s a stalemate because he ‘forgot me too.’ But after that it was fun catching up, he always makes me laugh… we talked until my credit finished.
I’ve felt guilty because I heard from our youngest bro that he’d been having problems with his wife. She’s older than she led us to believe. Well, she didn’t outright lie, but she was evasive and there was no prying out her real age from my bro or any of her own family members. Meanwhile it was glaring she was nothing less than thirty.
Personally, I think it’s deceptive. If you enter into a marriage with insincerity there’s bound to be problems down the road. Your intended should be able to accept you as you are and if his family can’t handle it and he can’t stand up to them, then he’s spineless and you have no business marrying him in the first place.
Lo and behold, that’s exactly what’s happening now. The air is saturated with too much insincerity and half truths. To compound matters, she’s having problems conceiving. Rather than urging her to see a specialist the pastor at her church fed her the ‘there’s someone in the house responsible for your problems’ tale. She has since then been rude to my parents and practically snubbing them. She was perpetually in a bad mood even her husband started avoiding her. You can imagine how happy my parents were when they finally moved out. She has successfully alienated herself from her husband’s family.
In our culture if a woman doesn’t get pregnant six months after marriage people start asking if all is well. We might not be able to change people’s perceptions overnight, but I wish our women will educate themselves instead of succumbing to quack theorists. If you are having problems having children, then seek medical assistance. Some of us need help with it, while for others it comes naturally. I see nothing to be ashamed about, especially if you are above thirty. If God meant to punish us altogether he wouldn’t have given us the knowledge to overcome infertility. Who knows, it might turn out to be a simple matter.
I’ll be visiting Abuja soon and I would like to bring it up her without offending her since she already thinks we’re out to get her. I just don’t know how to go about it.
